laying in bed
partly sick
watching misfits
on hulu
just heard some lana del rey
shut in the room with the door closed
wishing that my love
wasn't mad or rather in a bad mood
you would think i'd be used to it
thinking of grilled cheese and tomato soup
although i don't think i like the soup but it looks so good
sleep should do my body good
too bad my body doesn't speak my language
oh this dry cough is so bothersome
i wish i had an english accent
well how about that i think i might have some soup in the kitchen
but definitely not tomato.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
12.03.2012
4.17.2012
Baby Steps...
So start anew I did or I'm trying. Although I admit it's a little hard because it also means that you must change a little yourself, nonetheless I am trying. I am committed to making my relationship the best it can be.
I spent the entire weekend with P, just us two. No gadgets of any sorts, laptops, phone, nada. Sometimes these things, although helpful, can be a major distraction. A distraction from people who are seeking your attention.
Friday we went to the bookstore and spent a majority of the night there. Afterwards we drove around looking at houses, pointing out the ones we liked.
Saturday we went to the Japanese Cherry Blossom Festival in DC. It was a beautiful day. Enjoyed the performances, food and most all getting to sit on the ground on Pennsylvania Ave taking it all in.
Later on that night, I must admit, we got drunk. Something I haven't done in a very long time. And we talked for hours about everything and nothing. At times P did say things that inside made me a little mad, but I didn't let it bother me. Instead it gave me some insight on how I act. Be open, without anger or judgements.
Sunday, we slept in. I always wake up much earlier than he, so I just start my slow mornings. Read my book, clean up, watch a movie, take a shower. I appreciate these moments to myself and I let him enjoy his sleep. Once he wakes up, we ran some errands together, went back home and spent the rest of the day cuddled up under blankets on the couch.
We laughed, smiled, and talked. Bliss in the simpleness. We both put in our part, a true partnership. Everyday I pray for this and everyday I will seek this happiness.
You start with baby steps.
I spent the entire weekend with P, just us two. No gadgets of any sorts, laptops, phone, nada. Sometimes these things, although helpful, can be a major distraction. A distraction from people who are seeking your attention.
Friday we went to the bookstore and spent a majority of the night there. Afterwards we drove around looking at houses, pointing out the ones we liked.
Saturday we went to the Japanese Cherry Blossom Festival in DC. It was a beautiful day. Enjoyed the performances, food and most all getting to sit on the ground on Pennsylvania Ave taking it all in.
Later on that night, I must admit, we got drunk. Something I haven't done in a very long time. And we talked for hours about everything and nothing. At times P did say things that inside made me a little mad, but I didn't let it bother me. Instead it gave me some insight on how I act. Be open, without anger or judgements.
Sunday, we slept in. I always wake up much earlier than he, so I just start my slow mornings. Read my book, clean up, watch a movie, take a shower. I appreciate these moments to myself and I let him enjoy his sleep. Once he wakes up, we ran some errands together, went back home and spent the rest of the day cuddled up under blankets on the couch.
We laughed, smiled, and talked. Bliss in the simpleness. We both put in our part, a true partnership. Everyday I pray for this and everyday I will seek this happiness.
You start with baby steps.
4.13.2012
Fresh Start...
Oh wow, I hadn't realized how long it's been since my last post. Time surely does fly. I've just been a little out of it. Allergies, personal bs, work, and stress in general. I just needed a little time to deal, which honestly didn't accomplish anything. Well que sera, sera.
Truthfully, I've been having some serious relationship issues. And I guess I'm not afraid to admit that since I know anyone whose ever been in a relationship has had an issue from time to time. And some issues, well, never really get resolved. I love P, with all my heart, but I learned a while back to love myself more. Relationships end and I will always need to have myself. No, I am not saying I am breaking up with P, but although I do love him, I can't lose sight of myself and my needs. A relationship is suppose to be a partnership and bring out the positives in each other. While still giving each other respect, love, and patience.
Lately, I think a lot of our own personal issues have resulted in us taking it out on each other, in a very sneaking way aka we won't speak to each other for no known reason. I know that I can trust P and I know that he loves me. And I love who is, is quite truly a wonderful person. However, one underlying issue has been bothering the f out of me.
You see I was raised in a family, who always hugged, played, joked, and spent time with each other, amidst all the turmoil. Sometimes we would even be sitting, laying, hanging around one bed, talking or watching TV. We are a close family - to this day we say love you's and kiss good bye. And well by what P tells me, his family was a little different. Yes, they showed each other some type of closeness, bond, and love, but differently. Let's just say that these different upbringings have caused an expectations of expressions of love to be...unequal.
P is really not that type of guy who holds hands, demonstrates loads of PDA and sometimes that's ok. But when we're alone I shouldn't damn near be afraid to touch him. He likes his personal space...a lot and again that's ok. But I sincerely believe that a relationship, of almost any sort, needs that personal touch. A mother and her newborn bond over this personal touch;it builds a close bond between the two of them. So this shouldn't be any different for a relationship between partners.
At the honeymoon part of our relationship, I remembered P would beg me to stay in bed with him for 5 more minutes before I got up for work. Now if I try to kiss him goodbye (he is sleeping by the time I leave for work) he flinches away. I know the honeymoon is over...but I wish the romance wasn't.
So I think maybe its time for a fresh start, but how do you do that in a relationship? Do you go away together for a romantic weekend, couples therapy, spend a few days a part...? What? The last thing I want is for my relationship to do is lack spark. I want us to both feel that "we couldn't live without each other" feeling everyday, even when we're mad.
Ultimately, I must propose this to P, although I might be confronted with the "everything is great. What are you talking about?" And in that case what do you when you're not even on the same page?
Yes, love is grand and beautiful, but it also takes work. Wish me luck.
Truthfully, I've been having some serious relationship issues. And I guess I'm not afraid to admit that since I know anyone whose ever been in a relationship has had an issue from time to time. And some issues, well, never really get resolved. I love P, with all my heart, but I learned a while back to love myself more. Relationships end and I will always need to have myself. No, I am not saying I am breaking up with P, but although I do love him, I can't lose sight of myself and my needs. A relationship is suppose to be a partnership and bring out the positives in each other. While still giving each other respect, love, and patience.
Lately, I think a lot of our own personal issues have resulted in us taking it out on each other, in a very sneaking way aka we won't speak to each other for no known reason. I know that I can trust P and I know that he loves me. And I love who is, is quite truly a wonderful person. However, one underlying issue has been bothering the f out of me.
You see I was raised in a family, who always hugged, played, joked, and spent time with each other, amidst all the turmoil. Sometimes we would even be sitting, laying, hanging around one bed, talking or watching TV. We are a close family - to this day we say love you's and kiss good bye. And well by what P tells me, his family was a little different. Yes, they showed each other some type of closeness, bond, and love, but differently. Let's just say that these different upbringings have caused an expectations of expressions of love to be...unequal.
P is really not that type of guy who holds hands, demonstrates loads of PDA and sometimes that's ok. But when we're alone I shouldn't damn near be afraid to touch him. He likes his personal space...a lot and again that's ok. But I sincerely believe that a relationship, of almost any sort, needs that personal touch. A mother and her newborn bond over this personal touch;it builds a close bond between the two of them. So this shouldn't be any different for a relationship between partners.
At the honeymoon part of our relationship, I remembered P would beg me to stay in bed with him for 5 more minutes before I got up for work. Now if I try to kiss him goodbye (he is sleeping by the time I leave for work) he flinches away. I know the honeymoon is over...but I wish the romance wasn't.
So I think maybe its time for a fresh start, but how do you do that in a relationship? Do you go away together for a romantic weekend, couples therapy, spend a few days a part...? What? The last thing I want is for my relationship to do is lack spark. I want us to both feel that "we couldn't live without each other" feeling everyday, even when we're mad.
Ultimately, I must propose this to P, although I might be confronted with the "everything is great. What are you talking about?" And in that case what do you when you're not even on the same page?
Yes, love is grand and beautiful, but it also takes work. Wish me luck.
12.16.2011
The Power Of Vulnerability
hey everyone! hope everyone is doing well and not going too broke! i know that i have been away, just really busy. i haven't really been getting much sleep and i've had to work on my final for school, prepin for the holidays and a bunch of little personal things to deal with....busy!
but i wanted to take the time to share this video. it's longer than most people's attention pane, including my own (at times). however it's a really great video and i hope at least one person takes something out of it, i know i did.
http://www.ted.com/talks/view/lang///id/1042
but i wanted to take the time to share this video. it's longer than most people's attention pane, including my own (at times). however it's a really great video and i hope at least one person takes something out of it, i know i did.
http://www.ted.com/talks/view/lang///id/1042
10.12.2010
Love & Who Gets Over It Faster
So a couple of weeks ago I had two separate conversations that had me thinking....when ya break up, who gets over it faster, guys or girls? Of course every girl is probably thinking the same thing as I was, guys totally move on faster. After all we get so involve in a relationship it's like we sink ourselves into our partners. Guys...well you always seem like you don't care.
Well I was sitting down with Mr. P and he told me that he knows for a fact that if we ever went our separate ways that I would be the first person in the club trying to catch up on my missed game. (He didn't put in those words exactly, but you get the picture.) I of course disagreed, because well I love the man with every inch of my heart. AWWW...I know, corny, but I do. So we starting discussing how long we think it would take for us to recover if we did breakup (Knock on wood) Granted both of us could not fathom how long (smart choice!) but we agreed that it would probably be a while.
So one night I was out with a couple of friends, I don't really remember what we were talking about but either way one of guys said that "it takes us (guys) to get over a break up longer" So now I'm really thinking....could it be, do guys secretly take longer to get over a break up?
I know from experience that generally when you break up a girl is mostly crying, while a guy is mainly, again acting like they don't care. Mainly I believe that guys act like that because they feel they have to put up a macho act when in reality, maybe, some of them really are hurt and perhaps the best way they cope with the pain is to be an ass. Yeah, I said it.
Now I've had my share of relationships and when we finally do the last breakup with no possible chance of a makeup, it always seem that the guys were in relationships right after me.
Example #1 - My First (Puppy) Love
"R." He got married a year within our breakup
Example #2 - My Long Distance Relationship
"L." He refused to come see me (3 hours away) or really commit, however he meets someone online and almost instantly moves half way across the country and starts a family... also within the year.
Example #3 - My First Kiss Turned into Meeting Later in Our Lives
"E." This man had more drama than a soap opera (People it's not always good to start a relationship with problems) Either way a year or so after our breakup he sorta rekindled a relationship with his first love.
Yes, I acknowledge that I have a sort of "Good Luck Chuck" effect. However if you notice they all moved on within the year. Meanwhile I waited a bit more time before moving on. *Another thing to consider is that I was never really 100% faithful in those relationships (and perhaps neither were they,) but that's not the reason we eventually broke up. I mean it didn't help but still they moved on sooner. Now I do have examples in which the girl moved on sooner.
Example #1 - My Parents
My mother still remains the apple of my father's eye, my mom not so much.
Example #2 - All the guys who I left in the "dust" while they still called for their 2nd or 3rd chance.
Example #3 - I don't really have one, but you can insert your own experience here.
Most of us will be able to recall more heartaches than more happily "rebounded" relationship experiences, it's the nature of the beast. So maybe it just has something to do with the person and the certain relationship you experienced. It could be a series of reasons as to who recovers sooner, but in the end does it really matter? Yes, it does hurt to see someone you possibly cared about rooming the streets with a new someone, however it doesn't change the fact that when it's over it's over, no matter who moves on faster.
Ultimately we all continue the search for our "soul mate". Hoping that one day we don't have to relieve those break up pains or even think about moving on. So who moves on sooner, women or men? We both experience pain on different levels and at different times. Ultimately we have to learn to appreciate when we have someone who really shows and acts like they care, instead of continuing to waste time, energy and effort on an impossible relationship. Love is grand and oh so glorious, and it really thrives us to be better. It should ever be taken for granted or mistaken for the lust that we sometimes feel in those speed bumps. The people we choose to be in a relationship, reflect who we are, so lead with your heart wisely.
I've provided a link of epic loves, in where both partners could NOT live without each other. <3
http://amolife.com/reviews/top-20-most-famous-love-stories-in-history-and-literature.html
Well I was sitting down with Mr. P and he told me that he knows for a fact that if we ever went our separate ways that I would be the first person in the club trying to catch up on my missed game. (He didn't put in those words exactly, but you get the picture.) I of course disagreed, because well I love the man with every inch of my heart. AWWW...I know, corny, but I do. So we starting discussing how long we think it would take for us to recover if we did breakup (Knock on wood) Granted both of us could not fathom how long (smart choice!) but we agreed that it would probably be a while.
So one night I was out with a couple of friends, I don't really remember what we were talking about but either way one of guys said that "it takes us (guys) to get over a break up longer" So now I'm really thinking....could it be, do guys secretly take longer to get over a break up?
I know from experience that generally when you break up a girl is mostly crying, while a guy is mainly, again acting like they don't care. Mainly I believe that guys act like that because they feel they have to put up a macho act when in reality, maybe, some of them really are hurt and perhaps the best way they cope with the pain is to be an ass. Yeah, I said it.
Now I've had my share of relationships and when we finally do the last breakup with no possible chance of a makeup, it always seem that the guys were in relationships right after me.
Example #1 - My First (Puppy) Love
"R." He got married a year within our breakup
Example #2 - My Long Distance Relationship
"L." He refused to come see me (3 hours away) or really commit, however he meets someone online and almost instantly moves half way across the country and starts a family... also within the year.
Example #3 - My First Kiss Turned into Meeting Later in Our Lives
"E." This man had more drama than a soap opera (People it's not always good to start a relationship with problems) Either way a year or so after our breakup he sorta rekindled a relationship with his first love.
Yes, I acknowledge that I have a sort of "Good Luck Chuck" effect. However if you notice they all moved on within the year. Meanwhile I waited a bit more time before moving on. *Another thing to consider is that I was never really 100% faithful in those relationships (and perhaps neither were they,) but that's not the reason we eventually broke up. I mean it didn't help but still they moved on sooner. Now I do have examples in which the girl moved on sooner.
Example #1 - My Parents
My mother still remains the apple of my father's eye, my mom not so much.
Example #2 - All the guys who I left in the "dust" while they still called for their 2nd or 3rd chance.
Example #3 - I don't really have one, but you can insert your own experience here.
Most of us will be able to recall more heartaches than more happily "rebounded" relationship experiences, it's the nature of the beast. So maybe it just has something to do with the person and the certain relationship you experienced. It could be a series of reasons as to who recovers sooner, but in the end does it really matter? Yes, it does hurt to see someone you possibly cared about rooming the streets with a new someone, however it doesn't change the fact that when it's over it's over, no matter who moves on faster.
Ultimately we all continue the search for our "soul mate". Hoping that one day we don't have to relieve those break up pains or even think about moving on. So who moves on sooner, women or men? We both experience pain on different levels and at different times. Ultimately we have to learn to appreciate when we have someone who really shows and acts like they care, instead of continuing to waste time, energy and effort on an impossible relationship. Love is grand and oh so glorious, and it really thrives us to be better. It should ever be taken for granted or mistaken for the lust that we sometimes feel in those speed bumps. The people we choose to be in a relationship, reflect who we are, so lead with your heart wisely.
I've provided a link of epic loves, in where both partners could NOT live without each other. <3
http://amolife.com/reviews/top-20-most-famous-love-stories-in-history-and-literature.html
8.23.2010
Losing It...
So since this is my first official blog I’ve decided to call the following “losing it”. Ha! (Haven’t gotten to say that in a long time) If you don’t get it you don’t get it.
I have many reasons for starting a blog mainly b/c I’m trying to stay hip to the times…just kidding. That would be really dorky of me if I said that. Honestly the main reason will not be disclosed, the reason that will be disclosed is that I want to express and opinionate. You’ll agree or disagree with me, both of which I’m pretty sure I’ll appreciate. If I don’t, I’ll just delete your comment! Lol! I guess I’ll share the world from my point of view.
There will be a lot of random things/comments/posts on here, but that’s how I am, a little bit of everything.
I will tell you, if you love food, you’re in the right place. Cause I LOVE food!!!! Even though I personally have a love/hate type of relationship with food, I will try my best to blog about places I go to eat, so you can go out and eat!
So till later, check me out!
I have many reasons for starting a blog mainly b/c I’m trying to stay hip to the times…just kidding. That would be really dorky of me if I said that. Honestly the main reason will not be disclosed, the reason that will be disclosed is that I want to express and opinionate. You’ll agree or disagree with me, both of which I’m pretty sure I’ll appreciate. If I don’t, I’ll just delete your comment! Lol! I guess I’ll share the world from my point of view.
There will be a lot of random things/comments/posts on here, but that’s how I am, a little bit of everything.
I will tell you, if you love food, you’re in the right place. Cause I LOVE food!!!! Even though I personally have a love/hate type of relationship with food, I will try my best to blog about places I go to eat, so you can go out and eat!
So till later, check me out!
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