Tell me...

Tell me what love is
Tell me that you love me
forget the vows
because they are too easily broken
even if when they are spoken and promised
tell me that you love me
not when our times are rich
not when our times are good
not when we haven't forsaken God
Tell me that you love me
when I can't see tomorrow
tell me that you love me
when I try to shut away the tears
tell me that you love me
when I want to give up
tell me that you love me
when I have given up on the world
when I can't bear to take another step
when I have lost hope
when my heart has broken
When I say I love you
Tell me that you love me.
I will breath I love you
when you have given up
I will breath I love you
when you have lost hope
when your anger has dissolved you
when we cry
I will breath I love you
When you say I love you.


Getting Old...

One of my biggest current subject and worry is about age/getting older. Well here's another.

When I was about 16 years old, I used to said that I wasn't concerned about getting older and in addition I would accept it and age gracefully. I was so naive.
I think a reason for this belief was because I sincerely didn't believe that I would live past the age of 18 - don't know why. I guess I couldn't see myself past that age.

Well now I'm almost starting to bump shoulders with 30, almost! So not only have I proven to my rather pessimistic teenage self that I could I live past the age of 18, but I was also wrong about gracefully accepting age.

Honestly I never had much concern for it until a couple of months ago when I noticed...{breath in, breath out} a wrinkle. Yes, right there standing in the bathroom, looking in the mirror, there on my forehead a few faint lines of wrinkles. I screamed and cried a little inside.

There I was looking at myself in disbelief. What? Why? How? When? I immediately reasoned with myself that this was a temporary side effect on some skin medication I had taken...a month or so ago. No, I would not and could not take responsibility for what I was seeing. I wanted to ball up in bed, crawl under the covers and eat ice cream. I was thinking what makeup is going to help cover this - it's not a pimple and wishing by some miracle I had Botox in my medicine cabinet.

I had already gotten used to the few strands of gray hair that would show up in my bushel of long black hair. I could always hide, pluck, or dye them.

This I could not hide, pluck nor dye.

Then I started questioning my family. Which genetic code had caused me...me to get wrinkles? Did all the women in my family start getting wrinkles around this age and I simply never noticed? Or was it there the whole time, written on their faces and I just dismissed them?

Could I be the only one amongst my friends who was getting old? No. Well how were they hiding "them" so well?

Maybe I am the only one?

I called P to the bathroom and sadly asked him if I was hallucinating...are they there really there? The wrinkles?

P's response, "dang!" He teases me yet still calls me an old lady. I want to cry until I look up at his face and I realize that there on his face, around his eyes, are some small ever so faint lines. I wondered how is it that I had never noticed it before. To me P was the same person (in the physical sense) as he was when we first met 3 years ago. When I looked at his face, I saw the most handsome man in this universe. I saw his smile and beautiful eyes and the love that I have for him. I didn't notice because I didn't care about that. Wrinkles or no wrinkles he was still P.

I was still me.

Age does creep up behind you, taps you on your shoulder and politely asks if you remember them. Birthdays are always fun, exciting and celebrated and well age is a whole other story. We hide from it, try to zap it back to younger days, lie about it and even try to ignore it.  But it's there and much like a pesky mosquito, it will not go away.

I'm getting old...no older. I getting older, there's no hiding that. But getting older shouldn't be a curse. Now a days it's a blessing and a gift to grow old. Even with a few wrinkles I still believe I will age gracefully and hell imma have fun doing it.

Yes, it I will have to get use to this logic, but life is too short and the last thing I want to do is waste time agonizing over some lines. Even though I did buy some wrinkle and night cream for those very same lines.


Glitterific Nails...

I am obsessed with glitter, especially when it's on my nails. I just love the way it sparkles, "like diamonds in the sky."

A couple of days ago I was at my sister's place alone and her whole case of nail polish was on the kitchen counter. And in typical fashion I had already chipped off most of my previous nail polish - terrible habit.

Now shine my sparkles!

Both colors are from Funky Fingers. 


Chicken Lasagna Roll Ups...

This dish is the faster way to getting that taste of lasagna without actually slaving in a kitchen all day long trying to make homemade - from starch - lasagna. So I present to you chicken lasagna roll ups!!!

I almost completely forgot about this dish, if it wasn't for P who kindly reminded me that I hadn't made it in a while. ---- I must admit it did make me feel kinda nice that P like a dish of mine so much that he reminded me that well, he missed it and wanted some.

Sorry for the crap-tastic photo. We ate, put leftovers away and I forgot to take a pic. So this was so last minute, full tummy, sleepy, fudge it photo.

I tend to add a bit more spices for the chicken, as it tastes rather bland with just the Italian seasoning and crushed red peppers. And of course I add loads of cheese. I love cheese!



MMs Thought of the Day...

Can I wear Spanx under my swimsuit?

This was my entire thought and I was going to leave it at that, however how lucky was I when I came across this...


Growing Up...

Yes, I know getting older is part of life, you can't hide from that. However, at times...time just flies by so fast.

You can't relive anything, you can't hit rewind to play back what you missed. Time just keeps on strolling by with her high heels on.

It seems like only yesterday my sister was bringing my brand new baby niece home. She was our little doll. And my heart must have grown at least 3 sizes bigger because of her. ---- Not to say that I was some heartless chick, I just didn't' know I had that capability to love a person unconditionally and instantly.

Now my sweet, sweet, darling Bea is being promoted from her elementary school. And as I watch her sitting in her seat amongst her classmates, waving at me from afar. I want to have a mental breakdown of tears because not only am I proud of her - I see my niece with her own swag, style, being herself...no longer that little baby I use to cradle in my arms.

I hope one day I have enough courage to be as fearless and independent as her. Or just maybe I helped a little in instilling that in her...maybe.

Bea with her mom, my sista. 

Me and my Bea.