I guess you can say it's a bad day...

Truly, honestly, to myself. I only have to blame
for my decline
diminshed prospect
In part some was fear driven
How stupid of me to smile and give thanks to all the small milestones
but that was the only way to validate myself
To be captive in others positive radiance
and only to become even more enraged with myself
because I failed
maybe not just to myself
Making excuses time and time again so I could be view as a martyr
Yet another lie
I didn't know that one could hide within them self
Time slips away yet I stand still
even more frighten to approach
Watching images of what isn't there
Only a small burden of hope
Truly, honestly
I only have myself.

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